Tea is pleasant, sunny days are pleasant, sitting and petting my cat is pleasant. I stroked the sun warmed fur with one hand while with the other I set my half empty cup on the table beside the chair I was sitting in. The view outside the window is beautiful because it was spring time and also, our house has a view that looks out onto a lake instead of a busy road like most of the people in other neighborhoods. My thoughts were interrupted suddenly by my brother turning on the fan in the room. We have been living together for about half a year, but he still doesn’t seem to accept the idea of respecting roommates. We’re both going to the same school, so I decided to “adopt” my baby brother and let him live with me in a house I rent.
“Have you decided yet?” I asked.
“I don’t know.” It was the same simple answer that I would have given, but it still deserved some sort of reply.
I buried my face into my cat’s belly and took in the smell. It didn’t smell like anything really, yet it was still good. I closed my eyes and forgot about giving a reply. I asked a question instead, “How’s school going, Ben?”
“God, you always do this. School’s going fine. You should know that plus the answer to fifty more useless questions you have asked me the past few months. It’s all fine.”
I hate it when he does this. He doesn’t even remember the past few months. Besides, I was not trying to get at anything or pry into his life, I simply had no answer for the infamous ‘I don’t know.’  
“It didn’t take long to get us here,” I said with a sigh.
“Where…?” My brother stared off in the distance with an angered look on his face, not intent on focusing on the conversation he had started.
I busied my hands by stroking the cat sitting on my leg. “You know…” I trailed off. I imagined that I had to say something sooner or later, since that’s where we were headed, but small talk suits small people.
“I’m proud of how you rode the bus on your own last week.” My hand combed through the bushy tail of our Turkish angora.
“Public transportation is such an art,” he replied snidely.
“What am I supposed to say? I’m proud of your failing grades? ‘School’s going fine,’ my ass.” The cat ran as I raised my voice. The small talk had become adult quickly.
“You might want to note your own school work, sister dear.”
“There’s a kettle on the stove, why don’t you drink some tea?” I really hated to do that to him, but I needed to get him to settle down plus he was starting to give me a headache.
“Shut up, you don’t know how hard it is. You think it’s all sunshine and rainbows. Well it’s easier to go ahead and drink tea instead of doing anything.” His anger rose to meet mine, which I hid behind a half-lidded gaze.
“Just drink some.” I even offered my cup out to him.
“You need to face the real world, Jess.” He turned away so that he wasn’t in view of the cup, but he was still facing me.
“I’m surrounded by people who are better than me – better looking, better at being smart, better talkers. Is that what you want me to face?” The anger brewed in my chest and I suppressed a scream.
“Do you enjoy life?” My brother asked.
“I enjoy my life,” I answered firmly.
“At this point, I don’t think that is true.”
Really I should have been more offended, but I was in relaxation mode and desperate to keep it that way. I often spent my afternoons in this state. I sat looking out the window, petting our cat if she was around, and sipping a soothing beverage – particularly tea. Tea isn’t bitter like the other drinks I’ve tried.
“I’m just trying to find where I belong.”
“Oh, right. Before that it was finding out who you are and before that it was just going through a phase. When are you going to face the goddamn fact that you’re addicted?” He slapped the cup out of my hand and the glass surprisingly broke upon making contact with the carpet. There was another mess to clean up in my life.
“I’ve faced it already. I don’t think you’ve faced the fact that I’m happy this way and you’re not. You’re just jealous of the happiness I have, because you’re so sad. Sad little Benny.” I was so numb that I didn’t feel the sting of my words. If I had probably taken one second I would have thought before I spewed out such noxious words.
“You wanted to know my decision? I’m going. I don’t want to have to deal with this kind of crap anymore! That’s why I’m so unhappy, Jess. Happy, happy Jess.” He ran into his room, which was located a few feet past our small kitchen that joined with the living room we had both been standing in. I heard a door slam a few moments later.
  In truth, I loved my brother. With every ounce of my being I wanted to be happy that he was going to get the help he needed, but my brain stayed out of the equation. During this period of time it is safe to say I was not in control of my brain anymore; the drugs had taken over and they sought more territory to conquer.